What is that smell?

Went on an all-day excursion snorkeling around the islands south of Phu Quoc island. After 20 km of dusty road we get to the fishing pier where we catch our boat. Stepping carefully across the rickety planks, praying that we don't fall through to the fetid water below, we are accosted by the foulest stench we have ever experienced. Drying and rotten shrimp roasting in a humid, 30 degree celcius climate. Set a personal best for breath-holding.

Paul

Does your finger always look like that?

Developing some itchy spots on my index finger....is it something I ate or is something eating me while we sleep? Think we need a better bed net.

Paul

Dragon slayer!!!!

Woke up this morning in our beach bungalo to the usual tranquil sounds of waves softly hitting the shore.

THEN WE SAW A HUGE FREAKIN' MONSTER DRAGON LIZARD ON THE WALL!!!!!!

We're used to the little ones crawling up the walls but this dude could have swallowed Lucy whole with room for dessert. I of course sprung to Lucy's defense, pulling the post that holds up one corner of the mosquito net out of the bed and trying to drive the beast out the door. I didn't want to hurt it, just send it back to the jungle where it can eat deer, cows and goats or whatever it usually kills for food. After a short battle it was gone.

ps. Whatever you may hear from Lucy about a shriek of fear when it jumped from the ceiling to the wall is absolute bunk, she mis-interpreted my battle cry.

Paul

Sweet revenge for the Easy Riders

Rented a motor scooter so we could ride into town and get some fruit from the market. After 2 weeks of people honking at us with their scooters it was great to aim the horn at someone else for a change.

Paul

On the beach

We're resting up for a few days on the beach. Hot sun, turquoise water and a bungaloe by the beach. nuf said.



ps. The earthquake in the Indian Ocean didn't affect us here.

Paul

Blood-thirsty Natives

Still in the north-east highlands. Drove from Sapa to Bac ha to see the weekly Sunday market. This was 3 hours through some of the dustiest towns we have ever seen. Most people wear a cloth over their mouth to filter it out. Our trusty driver, Mr. Bau, is a recently retired military man with a limp thanks to the US army.

The market is colourful chaos because it's crowded with native women that wear multi-coloured head scarves. The native people from the surrounding hills come here to do their weekly buying and selling - everything from dogs (to eat), pigs, chickens, water buffalo, fruits, vegies, noodles, clothes... you name it. This market is all business, if you move to slow you get a sharp jab in the ribs to get out of the way by some small woman with a huge basket on her back.

We asked what the bowls of red "soup" were that you see in the market food stalls. They are bowls of fresh pig blood, garnished with crushed peanuts, mint, and herbs. By the looks of things, this is a popular item. What happens if there is a shortage of pig blood and they can't get their of blood? They will surely be looking for another source and smacking their lips over the over-fed tourists with their pig-like features. We fled the market as fast as we could and paid Mr. Bau double to get us back to the train station as fast as possible for the overnight train to Hanoi.



Paul

Made to measure

December 21

After a short flight from Hanoi to Danang we arrive in Hoi An. Flying is a great option here, it's cheap and prevents ulcers and grey hair from being a passenger on the same roads as the maniacs that drive here.

Hoi An is a great place to be. It's a small historic town that does not allow cars in the old part of town (getting bumped by a scooter or a bike is a lot less painful). This town has brought out the inner clothes-horse in me. It's famous for making cotton and tailoring. I can hear the clatter of the cotton looms from where I type, they use old machinery that wouldn't look out of place in the era of the industrial revolution.

I didn't really expect to get any clothes made but once you get here it's like a fever and you can't stop yourself. The town is full of small tailor shops loaded with bolts of cloth. You pick a style out of the pile of catalogs and magazines, the material and then they measure you up - everything is custom made. I ended up getting a wool suit, a cordorouy sport coat, 2 pairs of pants and a dress shirt ... for $140!!! All custom made to fit. Lucy got a few things made as well. It's a good thing that you can also get knock-off bags here incredibly cheap as well, North Face packs for $6. We're going to need extra luggage space.



We also had to spend time looking for the tackiest possible material for an (un-named) friend that provided a shirt to copy. You're going to love it!

We love the hotel and the town so we're extending our stay for an extra few nights.

Paul

You buy from me!?

We took the red-eye (over-night train) from Hanoi to Sapa, up in the north-east highlands. Beautiful mountain scenery and very colourful inhabitants. The indigenous (and ingenious) native people are living the way they have been for generations except they now have satellite tv and sell handicrafts to tourists. The women have black hands from dyeing hemp material in indigo dye that they make from local flowers. The young girls are the best at it, they follow you for up to an hour, looking cute and asking the same questions over and over until you cave in.
- Where are you from?
- What's your name?
- How old are you?
- How many brothers and sisters?
- You buy from me?

One trio of girls followed us through town to our hotel. The next morning they were staked out again, waiting for us. We managed to sneak out using a van that was parked outside the hotel as cover.

Someone is going to get an indigo pillow case for their birthday...

Paul

Can't swallow the snake wine

There it was in front of me, the elusive snake wine. Forbidden elixir of snake venom and corn liquor, brewed in the shadowy highlands of north-east Vietnam. But, I just can't bring myself to drink the stuff. I fear nightmares of the snake coiled into each bottle, eyes staring out of the bottle where they were drowned alive. Not even the promise of the effects of this Vietnamese Viagra can put the stuff past my lips.



Paul

Good noodles, bad air, and the best coffee

Hanoi - Take 3 million people, put them on 2 million scooters and duct-tape their fingers to the horn... that's Hanoi. Lucky for us we had Tuan to show us the necessary survival skills, namely how to cross the road alive. Since many intersections don't have traffic lights and it's not possible to wait for a break in the traffic (there are none, ever) the only option is to take a huge leap of faith and wade through. The trick is to walk slowly and not to stop, as long as you move slowly and predictably the scooter psychopaths can flow around you, beeping away. Stopping or speeding up = death by a thousand wheels. It does not make a difference whether you do this with your eyes open or closed.



Once we got used to this, Hanoi was pretty cool. We went to see Ho Chi Minh whose body has been preserved and on display since he passed away in the early 70's (probably killed in traffic) but unfortunately he was out of town getting some body work done. Cosmetic surgery isn't just for the young, or the living for that matter. The Old Quarter is the most interesting part of town. Our first day we got a cyclo tour through here. A cyclo is a 3 wheel bike with a seat mounted on the front. The irony of athletic adults being wheeled through the city by a couple of old, thin, asthmatic Vietnamese men was not lost on us. The cargo that they can carry on these things is amazing. We've seen them carry lumber, scrap metal, carpet rolls - even 4 pigs sprawled across the front while being pushed by a scooter.

The Old Quarter has got it all, building supplies, knock-off shoes and clothes by the ton, guys welding and fabricating metal in their flip-flops on the sidewalk, chickens being slaughtered - you name it.

Did I mention that the coffee is amazing here, strong with an undertone of chocolate that comes from the bean? Don't know if this is true but I read that the best brew is made from beans that have been eaten and shat out be weasels. Hopefully this is a Vietnamese myth.

Next stop is the northern highlands. Tonight we get on the overnight train.

Paul

Getting there is half the fun (yah right)

A pox on Air Canada for issuing upgrade coupons that can never be used, forcing us to spend 22 hours in small seats, watching bad movies, eating lousy food, and listening to 100's of snoring Taiwanese travelers.

Paul

Twas the night before Hanoi

Are we ready? The stuff piled on the bed looks meagre for 5 weeks, but also looks too big. What can be left behind? What's missing? Why is the overhead fan starting to sound like a helicopter?